"To the Law and Testimony ... " [Isaiah ]
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we are gathered in this courtroom to judge whether or not the plaintiff is - or is not - a Christian according to the teachings of the Holy Bible. In this case we will use the English language Authorised Version, also referred to as 'The King James Bible.
The plaintiff is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - commonly called 'Mormons' - and has frequently been told by non-LDS Christians that neither he nor his Church are Christians. He has suffered frequent abuse when testifying that he IS a follower of Jesus Christ and IS, therefore, a Christian.
We have several prosecutors, each of which represents a Christian sectary - their denominations do not matter except in certain instances where identification is required. Each can ask him as many questions about his religious faith, and we ask you to judge him by his answers alone.
That being so, we will proceed. However, it must be cogently stressed that you must abandon your prejudices out of the Courtroom, out of the Jury Box, and well outside the Jury Deliberation Room, so that the plaintiff will get a fair hearing and his views will receive fair scrutiny, especially when supported by Holy Writ.. I thank you for your kind attention. The courtroom is to order ....
Prosecutor (hereinafter 'P'): You claim the be a Christian?
Defendant (hereinafter 'D'): Yes, sir, I do.
P: But you are a Mormon?
D: Yes, sir, I am a Mormon.
P: And as a Mormon you reject the Doctrine of the Holy Trinity?
D: Yes, sir. I reject that teaching.
P: But the Holy Trinity is at the heart of Christianity, and is tauight positively in the Bible.
D: I do not find it in the Bible at all, sir.
P: Have you ever read the Bible?
D: Yes, sir. I have read the Bible daily for sixty three years.
P: And you do not find the Trinity in the Bible?
D: No, sir. I do not.
P: That must be a very strange Bible, indeed. Where did you get it from and what version is it?
D: I bought it at a Christian Bookstore, and it is the Authorised, or King James' Version.
P: Has the text of your King James Bible been changed in any way by the Latter-day Saints?
D: Not in any way, shape, or form.
P. Why do you suppose you find no Trinity in it?
D. Because it was never in there in the first place.
P. I have no more questions. His defence seems biblically sound.
Judge: The Defendant is acquitted and the charges dropped!