1ST Jan 1975 [sic]Well, another year to start, and what did I do?  My miserable attitude makes me [a]shame[ed].  Ronnie amazes me.  He just quietly loves me.  No dramatics or rebukes.  I wonder maybe I might behave better towards him if he did reprimand me now and again.  He kisses my tears and fears away and waits patiently.

  

SUN 27 JANDidn’t go to Church today.  I feel very alone just now.  I look at the clock and try to imagine what they will be doing.  I really hate not being at Church.  I belong there; I feel right there; I need to be there; I love to be there.  What would I do without the Church?  

  

I told Ronnie this morning I love him more on Sunday than I do any other day of the week.  He told me it is because I read scriptures more on Sunday than I do any other day of the week and have a goodness about me that makes me love more.  I read scriptures every day and I know they influence me, but I think it is something to do with a feeling of being different from the world and separate from it on this day.  We don’t watch television or listen to the radio.  The music we play is reverent and we talk to each other more and are more aware of each other.  I really love it.  If we could be apart from the world always it would be truly grand, but I know we have to take our world of the Gospel into ‘the world’ and be an example of Christian living so that others may want to share our world.

  

I am still up and down in my feelings for Ronnie.  At the moment, I love him very much, but during this month, I had a time when I felt I couldn’t be married to him.  I fasted and prayed and told the Lord I had decided not to marry him.  All I got was silence: just no feelings one way or the, other.  I felt maybe the Lord was shaking his head quietly and giving me a funny look.  My trouble is, when something pops up which I don’t like, I immediately panic and think, “I don’t have to live with this!” instead of talking about it to Ronnie and clearing the air.  

  

Yesterday I asked Ronnie to help me clean up.  He said, Yes. of course he would, then spent all afternoon watching a film and preparing a talk until there was no time left.  I was very annoyed and even though tired and not too well I cleaned up myself.  When we were getting ready to go out I decided to tell him why I was angry, instead of harbouring my feelings and getting to a stage where I once again would decide that I couldn’t marry a man who wouldn’t keep his promises and help me.  I am happy to say I am not afraid to say what I feel, which in itself is a very good thing and one which I enjoy.  Having told Ronnie my feelings, I was pleasantly surprised to find he was gentle and understanding and apologised.  

  

We need to learn how to live together in harmony, and this may take time, but I do see how my attitude can make a lot of difference.  I must remember I can say what I feel and Ronnie will listen to me.  He is so good in so many ways.  I must do as he does and be patient and loving even when I feel things aren’t fair.  When I can work part time, a lot of this stress will be done away with.  It is tedious and very wearying working full time and running a home as well.  It will be nice to have time to do things for Ronnie, like bake fresh bread and have his meals ready.  I want to look after him.  It will also be nice to have more time to read and study and care for other people too.  Sometimes I feel I don’t have time to be a proper Christian.  

  

We went to the Speech Festival last night.  It was excellent.  Ronnie spoke on If I Ruled the World.  He gained second place only because his time allowed was 4 minutes and he had been told 6 minutes.  His talk was far superior to anyone’s’.  He can rule my world as long as he loves me always as much as he does just now.  

  

I was talking at work to Tracy & Sheila about marriage and they said that once a man married you they changed and felt they needn’t try anymore, but it will be different with Ronnie and I.  We will work hard and make our marriage a happy one.  Oh, I pray it won’t be too long now.

  

SUN FEB 3rd 85Bore my testimony today that I love my Saviour and his teachings.  I look forward to his blessings of a Temple Marriage and I will keep myself worthy (It’s the thoughts that trouble me most).  I want to please my heavenly Father, he has blessed me so much already; it is overwhelming when I think of what I have.  

  

On Saturday, I received a letter from Karen telling me how my example has affected her life.  I feel so happy that I have had such a great influence on her.  I always felt that I hadn’t been a very good mother but it would appear I have done more than I thought.  I know the Lord has been good and some wonderful people in the Church have influenced Karen and taught her much.  When I feel a failure, a sometimes I do, I shall be read that letter and know that I can succeed.   

  

Barry [O’Brien] & Patrice {Saunders] came for tea tonight.  They are lovely lads.  Ronnie helped us to understand the scriptures a little better.  We studied Isaiah 59:13-14.  What great blessings can be ours if we keep the Sabbath Day holy.

  

SUN FEB 10TH – 85Started a Home Study class with Young Adults.  We learned how to teach a non-member about the godhead.  I feel confident to explain now from scripture.

  

Sat 16My Nephew Keith (Ronnie’s [Goodwin] boy) was married today.  Ronnie (B) and I went to a Disco in Shipley  to celebrate the wedding.  It was really nice to be with the family.  Janet didn’t come, which was a shame.  She felt offended at not being asked to the actual wedding.  People who are bitter only hurt themselves in the long run.  

  

I am still emotionally strung up.  I do get weary of this swing in feelings, it makes me afraid of making any decisions and very miserable at times.  I can’t understand how Ronnie puts up with it.  I don’t think I would if he were the one on the receiving end [sic].   Eternal Marriage is such an important step, in fact, to me, the most important step in life.  How can I make the right decision feeling as |I do?  It doesn’t seem fair somehow.  I have waited so long and now I am at a time of life when nothing is simple, and I feel sometimes so alone, more so than any other time in my life and, like everyone else, I have had my share of loneliness.  

  

Hilda (Ronnie’s [Goodwin] ex-wife) was at the disco.  She had come over from Canada to go to Keith’s wedding.  She hadn’t changed much except she was blond.  I enjoyed seeing her again.  (What does the Lord think of me?)

  

FRI 22 FEBWent to Karen’s for the weekend.  It was nice seeing the children.  I bought 2 dresses.  

  

I am very unsettled.  Sometimes I doubt my love for Ronnie.  How can this be when I was so much in love before?  I really am so unhappy just now, and feel that perhaps I don’t want to marry.  Karen says to look for the good which I do, but sometimes he makes me feel so angry and I’m not sure why.  I don’t feel very spiritual either, which is my own fault; my thoughts are not always in control.  

  

Karen spoke on Sunday about studying the scriptures.  It was very good and very well put over.  She’s quite a young lady!

  

FRI 1ST MCHWork drags on and I feel bored and discontented.  Dinner dance at Huddersfield tonight.

  

Had a super evening.  Ronnie really works hard to please me.  I am wicked to him.  He tries so hard to be good and I make life difficult.  What am I to do?

  

SPECIAL

  

SAT 2ND MARCH

Ronnie decided that we can’t go on indefinitely as we are; it is putting ourselves in the way of temptation and it’s not good.  I don’t want to fall and I don’t want Ronnie, most of all, to fall.  He said he loved me in such a way that I know he does, and asked me to marry him.  He said if he got a special licence, we could marry next Tues.!  “What!” said I.  “Well, next Wednesday, then.”  We set a date for 23 Mch but Karen said Adam had mumps, so we moved it to 13th April.

  

Sun 3rd Mch 1985

I feel good about getting married today.  Mind you, I do love Ronnie on a Sunday when he isn’t watching television and we study the Gospel, or have friends in and discuss the scriptures.  I really enjoyed myself today and I feel the old love coming back.  I feel relaxed and happy again.  Maybe it was the strain of going on and on with no end in view.  It gets very wearying. 

We dearly want to be sealed in the Temple, but we will have to wait if Ronnie’s blessings aren’t restored before April 13th.  Maybe the Lord will bless us.  I realize just how unworthy I am when I want something like this; I dare not ask.  I will serve the Lord as well as I can and hope he will bless me.

We had a lesson on the Atonement today in Relief Society.  It was wonderful.  The Spirit was great.  I do love my Saviour and I do know what he did for me and how I wish I didn’t sin and hurt him so.  I am thankful for repentance and I want to make it work in my life to make me a better person.  I shall pray more often.  

  

SUN 17 MCH 85

I didn’t see Ronnie for 3 days last week and I realized how much I missed him.  If ever a man worked hard to please someone he does.  If I tell him I have a need, he is so willing to fulfil it.  I can hardly believe it.  It’s only 4 weeks to my wedding day.  I really am looking forward to being married.  

  

There was a priesthood meeting on Wednesday.  One of the sisters  told them how women think about things in general, and how they need to be hugged sometimes just to feel safe and loved.  I am so glad.  It makes me realize I am not too demanding.  I just need a closeness, maybe more than normal just now, because of my condition .  

  

Carolyn [Leonard] had a baby girl yesterday .  Kenneth is so happy he is beaming.  I am so pleased for them.  

  

Gary rang us to tell us and invited us down to the Pizza Hut for a meal for Mothers Day.  I was given a plant and a bar of soap.  It was so enjoyable. 

Karen rang and says she will send me money for my wedding flowers as a Mothers Day gift.  I must get some ordered. 

Joanne bought a lovely card & a bunch of daffodils and a bar of chocolate.  

  

My children are so good to me.  In fact, life is good to me.  I decided today to try harder to live the Gospel more fully.  I am not as close to Heavenly Father as I used to be and I miss him.  I now it is my own fault and I intend to remedy it.

  

Ronnie has worked for hours this weekend on a Special Interest programme for a big meeting with bishops, Stake President, etc.  I am to type it out tomorrow.

  

I was walking down the road thinking about all the poor people who were starving and deprived and wishing I had enough money to supply all their needs, to be able to help them to help themselves, when I realized that if that happened I would deprive millions of people from making sacrifices to help these people and myself also.  Unless I was making some effort or sacrifice, I wouldn’t benefit from giving all that money away.  Heavenly Father is so wise.  

  

(I hope I love Ronnie Bray always as much as I do or even more than I do today).

  

24 Mch

Gave the Sacrament Service today with my Seminary Students.  President [George Michael] Jokl was there.  I had a long talk with him afterwards.  He counselled me and I felt so much better.  Gillian [Robson] & girls came for tea.

  

MON. 25

Family Home Evening.  Talked about the Temple with Joanne.  We had a good spirit with us. 

Joanne said she would fellowship Kylie [Robson] to try to help her back into the Church.  She has the right idea.  We said we would support her.  I hope she carries it through.  I am quite proud of her.

  

13 April 1985

We postponed the wedding from 13 April until 4th May because today we went to St Albans to meet President [Russell C] Taylor for Ronnie to have his priesthood blessings restored.  I was so excited going down and felt that at last my dreams would come true.  When I met President Taylor and Ronnie was asked to leave the room I felt overawed.  It was like meeting God.  It made me realize how much better I must live it.  I want to be able to meet God and not feel ashamed of anything in my life.  Ronnie had his blessings restored.  Only 3 more weeks and I could be married in the Temple.

I had a lot of ups and downs these last three weeks.  At one time, I gave up the idea of being married because there are times when I feel hurt over something and I don’t want to be hurt.  After 5 days I came to the conclusion that if one wants something badly enough, one will pay the price, even if it means being hurt now and again. 

Poor Ronnie.  I do lead him a dance.  He patiently waits for me to make my mind up.

  

MAY 4TH

My wedding day.  How wonderful it all was.  I got up early and fed the dogs and cat.  

Then I ironed Ronnie’s shirt, Matthew’s shirt, and Gary’s shirt. 

Gary had come in at 2 ‘o clock  from work.  Joanne had got into my bed with me, and Gary got into her bed.  I do love my children. 

I went for a walk with the dogs over Chellow, then had a shower.  

Ronnie ran me to the hairdressers, and Mike Dunn picked me up with Kay.  Whilst I was in there, Matthew arrived, all dressed up, looking beautiful, and asked me for the rings.  I had them in my handbag.  

Peggy [Rastrick] arrived for the bridesmaids as I was trying to eat a small dish of cereal.  Joanne was ready.  She looked so beautiful I could have cried.  Karen arrived while I was putting my make up on.  She changed and got Abigail ready.  Then Peggy set off with them whilst I put my dress on.  I felt good and very, very happy.  

Karen, Lewis, and the boys left and Kenneth Leonard arrived to take Gary & I to church.  Gary was embarrassed about taking me out to the car, so Ken escorted me while Gary ran down the side of the house.   

The neighbours waved and off we went to Huddersfield.  On the way, we stopped for Gary to buy some sweets to keep Abigail quiet with.  He bought a bar of chocolate and some mints.  

 Did anyone else eat chocolate and mints on the way to the church?  Ken kept teasing me about the car breaking down, etc.  It was a very happy atmosphere.  

  We had a video running when I arrived.  The choir began to sing.  Matthew came out to see if I was there.  We waited a while and, at the right moment, the doors were opened and I was escorted by my son into the chapel.  

  Ronnie smiled at me from the stand.  Everyone was smiling; it was such a happy day.  Bishop Leslie Ryan spoke first.  Mainly about how good we were.  Then Elder Gordon Williams spoke on Eternal Marriage.  Bishop Rodney Crossley said a few words, then continued with the marriage ceremony.  

  

It was all so lovely.  Mary Coles was ill and very upset because she couldn’t be there.  Geoffrey [Coles] sang whilst we signed the register.   

  

Abigail giggled a bit with Gary, at the back of us, but she was very good and looked beautiful.  Mike Dunn opened with prayer and Adele Rooney closed with prayer.  

  Then, we went out for photos, and then wedding cake & punch, which Newsome Kirk made for us.  Vera [Kirk] made the cake and Irene [Kirk] and Gladys [Kirk] cut the cake for us. 

We set off for the Temple about 1.30.  Karen & Joanne came with us.  Ronnie (my husband) and I and Barry [Finbar Christopher O’Brien], Gillian Robson, Barry’s girl friend Leslie [Reppion – whom he later married], and Patrice {Saunders], who couldn’t come into the Temple but came to help drive home: what a wonderful gesture.  

  

The sealing was too wonderful to express in words.  It was awe-inspiring, and when Joanne & Karen knelt at the altar with us, I was overwhelmed with the wonder and joy of it all.  

Gary will be sealed to us when he goes down for his own endowments before he goes on his mission. 

Pamela rang to say she wants to be sealed to us, which is wonderful.  

    

  

[A space of more than half a page was left here.  Presumably for entries about our honeymoon which was spent in Bridlington]

   

The following entry was found on a sheet torn from an A4 note book

    

At about 12.15 [am] my husband gave me a blessing.  He had been attending a priesthood leadership meeting at Huddersfield, which was especially called to command, direct, and reorganize the way the church was run.  

  

The priesthood were told to go home and put their hands on their wives’ heads and bless them that they would have the strength to support them, whatever the Lord directed them to do. 

  

 Ronnie was also called as a circuit speaker and myself which means about once a month we would go to another Ward and speak in such a way that we would uplift the congregation.  I dare hardly think about it, but I know I can and will do it, with the Lord’s help.

  

My blessing was beautiful.  Ronnie blest me with health & strength, with understanding and a knowledge that when he was away serving the Lord it was pleasing to the Lord, and I should not worry or feel upset in any way about it.

  

I was blest with an understanding heart and that I would be unafraid.  That because of my faith I would be an example to many, wherever the Saints would gather my faith would be spoken of &they would call me blessed.

  

That the Lord would hear my prayers and I would be receptive to the Spirit’s promptings and hear the answers to my prayers, and that the Lord would enfold me with his everlasting arms.  That Satan would strike at out home, but we would be able to withstand his onslaught.  That I would not fail or falter or stumble.  That we have been called to serve Heavenly Father.  That I would be strong in the defence of Zion and its people and in the fight against Satan.

  

I am proud that my husband was so obedient and came home and gave me a blessing when I heard of Brothers in the Gospel who didn’t, it made me wonder how sincere they really were in their testimonies.  Having said that, I feel I haven’t worked very hard recently in the church.

  

I am Vice Chairman in Stake Special Interest, and so far, I feel I have done very little.  My visiting teaching has been good and I have felt the Spirit’s guidance whilst out with Violet.

On Wed 19th June, Ronnie went Home Teaching for the first time in many years.  He was happy to be working again for the Lord.  It’s so good to watch him serve.

  

Our marriage is settling down very well.  I feel contented and less afraid as we learn to live and love together.  We respect each other and are good friends.  I love to be where he is, and he won’t go out without me unless he has to.  I pray we will always want it this way.

Gary, Karen, & Joanne get on very well with Ronnie.  Joanne is a bit huffy sometimes, but being 15 years old, we can expect a few tantrums.  We want her to be happy.

I am excited about moving to Huddersfield.  We have been looking at some houses and put the Chellow Grange one up for sale.  

Gary is preparing his mission papers for sending in.  He only has a doctor’s certificate to get now.

  

End of entry on notepad sheet

  

  

SAT 22 JUNE

Had a weekend at Karen’s.  It was strange sharing a bedroom this time with Ronnie.

  

SAT 29 JUNE 85

Went to Gail Beaumont’s wedding – the girl I work with.  It was very nice, but after our wedding nothing seems spiritual anywhere else.  When the prayers & talks are chanted it seems o much just ritual. 

Later we went to the London Temple with Barry O’Brien, Leslie [Reppion], Gillian Robson, Brother & Sis [Jo and Elvira] Grisag, to see Carol Newman & Paul Scott sealed.  I enjoyed it so much.  I must go down to the Temple to work again soon.  We rode home with Bishop [Christopher] Hopkinson & Penny Smith.  Arrived home 12.45.  It reminded me of my sealing.  I feel so good about it all.

  

TUES.  2-JULY 85

Someone rang to see the house.  I hope we can sell it soon.  Went to Relief Society to teach the sisters about food storage.  Sis [Lillian] Turner is a super President.  I love being with the saints.  I am getting back into doing things again without wishing I was with Ronnie all the time.  Not that I love him any less, in fact I love him more.  

  

He is already planning to take Seminary in Huddersfield [First] Ward in Sept.  He has offered to do early morning and home study.  Gary has gone back to Ken’s.  I miss him but he has rung me a couple of times.  Maybe he loves and misses me. 

Matthew has got a job at last at the Pizza Hut.  I hope he gets on OK.  I wish we could influence him into going to church – all that he learns will maybe click with him one day.  We must set him a good example.

  

SAT 6 JULY

Last night went to see a lovely house in Huddersfield.  It was in immaculate condition.  I would like to live there but I don’t think Ronnie would be happy there.  He is by nature a hoarder and rather untidy, so if we lived in a big house he could have a room to call his own and do what he wanted in it and I could have the rest of the house tidy.  Although I would never be able to afford to get it as nice as the one last night.  I am very torn between the two types of house.  I always imagined the Celestial Kingdom as being beautiful and in order, something like the one last night.  It is difficult to make decisions now because I don’t only have myself to consider.

  

We went to Manchester to a Seminary Symposium yesterday.  It was exciting.  I do admire these [CES] men: just ordinary men who uplift themselves and struggle to uplift others.  We can take an example from the men themselves, even before we have heard their lectures, which were excellent.  There was one on plural marriage, which was interesting, but I cannot come to terms with it. 

The thought of Ronnie having another wife makes me curl up inside and I feel very angry and upset.  Yet, I know if the Lord says to do it I would.  I would just pray then [that] I could bear to live with it.

  

We went to Peggy’s for supper when we got back.  It was a pleasant visit.  Ronnie is gong to fix a picture up for her.

  

Sun

Ronnie has a bad back.  I do hope it gets better soon.  I am not happy with sickness, not even my own.  This morning I to[ok] the dogs around the Chellow and some books to read.  I read section 93 in Doc & Covenants.  It is a very stirring section.  I am going to study it more closely.  Will I ever be worthy to see my Saviour’s face?  Maybe I am not repentant enough.  I know I have strengths, but I also am very weak and just now with my age problem, I have trouble being spiritual because of my irritations in life.  I am not at peace with myself.  Who can I talk to?  I talk with God but his servants here on earth are also here to help us.  Who will understand how I feel and be able to help me? 

I have a booklet from the 1942 General Conference Reports.  It is so good.  I have so many ways I need to improve.  I will make a list now and plan to do them.  Genealogy is a priority! 

Irene Kirk says she will come to a FHE and help me sort it out.  I will ring her today! 

I want to bear my testimony today and tell the people how much I love thee lord.  Help me to be close to thee and know thy will.

  

25 JULY 1985

Last Saturday we went to my niece Michelle’s wedding.  It was a nice service at the big church down Victoria Road.  I do enjoy socials with my family.  We had a photo taken with both my brothers and both my sisters and myself on.  I can’t wait for that.  I have wanted one for such a long time and each time something happens to spoil it.  

  

On Sunday went to Huddersfield with Ronnie who gave a talk and showed some slides about Church history.  I think he is a very inspiring person: he made Seminary sound wonderful which, of course, it is. 

Ronnie has been appointed to teach Hudd.  1st Ward. 

Monday went to Irene Kirk’s for FHE and did some Genealogy.  I will get on with it now.

 Wednesday, that is yesterday, we had Single Adult Council meeting at Hudds.  Once again, Ronnie inspired all who were there, including me, to make the programme work.  We planned a couple of Stake Socials.

  

Gary went to the doctor’s for his medical for his mission and the doctor donated the £32 fee to his missionary fund.  I think that was wonderful.

  

MONDAY AUGUST 5TH

Down at Karen’s.  Last weekend (28 JULY, at Bradford), we had the London Temple President  [Joseph Hampstead] and his wife for a meal.  They came to our Sacrament Meeting, then went back for a fireside.   Whilst we were having tea, Bro. [Jeffrey] Coles rang to say the water was coming over the waterfall that he and Ronnie had built in the stream at the bottom of his garden.  We all went down to see it after tea.  There was Sis [Edith] Allen & two missionaries too.  

Last Monday was Gillian Robson’s birthday.  We had a party at our house, and Penny [Smith] came. 

I don’t think we are going to get the house at Huddersfield that we want because our house is not selling.  I am so very disappointed, but considering the blessings I do have, I don’t suppose I have room to grumble.  When I consider the plight of the poor people in Ethiopia, I am rich.

  

I have a talk on Sunday at Halifax.  I am finding it a bit difficult to put together.

  

SUN 11 AUGUST 1985

My 1st Anniversary today.  It was just a year ago I went for a picnic to Shipley Glen with my new lovely husband.  Did I dream then life would be so good and happy? 

This morning we went to Halifax to speak about Special Interest.  I talked about Mary Fielding Smith crossing the plains.  I was very impressed with this woman and can relate to her myself in some ways.

  

SEPT 17 85

Ronnie spoke at Wakefield on 18 Aug, then Dewsbury 8th Sept.  He is a very good speaker and enjoys speaking.  He has so many callings now that he only has 1 Wednesday a month free: all the rest of the time is called for in church work. 

He is very dedicated to serving the Lord.  I miss him when I can’t go with him; yet I am so pleased he is serving the Lord, and when he does come home he is so loving and kind it makes up for my loneliness.  He went on his first Temple Visit with the priesthood this month.  It was so good for him.

  

Thurs. 12th Sept

We travelled down to London and stayed with June & Fred [Lawrence] until Monday afternoon.  It was a wonderful weekend.  Fred & June were so kind to us, I felt really welcome.  

  

June told me a lot about Ronnie, which helps me understand him a little better.  He has developed so much these past few years it is incredible.  Maybe I am good for him: I hope so.  

  

We went to the Temple on Friday to do 2 sessions and then go on to Brighton, but we enjoyed working in the Temple so much we stayed on for another session and did 15 sealings.  I felt so good.  

  

On our way back to London, we bought some books at the Thorpes.   They gave us some tea, which was nice [of them].  On Sat, we did 2 more sessions.  I was sat on a bench with June facing Ronnie.  It was rather strange knowing he was sealed to both of us.  On Sunday, we went to Hyde Park chapel.  Then we had a run out to Windsor, which was nice.   

  

Monday, Ronnie and I walked through Hyde Park  and the squirrels were so tame they came right up and took food out of your hand.  The birds were the same, and we stood a few feet from a baby rabbit nibbling the edge of the lawn.

  

At the beginning of August, Joanne went on Stake Camp to Anglesey.  It rained most of the time, but she enjoyed it.  Hazel Leonard tells us that 4 boys asked Joanne out, but she refused and told them she didn’t date until she was 16.  I am very proud of her.  We all get up and do Seminary together: it is a good feeling.

  

Gary was interviewed for his mission by the Stake President  on Thurs. 12 Sept.  He was given a clear bill.  His papers went in on Monday and we are told it will be six to eight weeks before he is called.  At last!  It has been many years since I first told the Lord I would do everything to get my son on a mission.  I have had a tremendous amount of help from many people through the years, but most of all from Ken & Caroline Leonard.  I pray the Lord will bless all his teachers and leaders for the influence for good each one has had on Gary.

  

Oct 1st 1985

Karen has been called as Stake Primary President.   I feel so proud of her, and Lewis is a High Council Man.  It is a good feeling, watching your family grow.

  

The weather has suddenly come warm after all the rain and cold winds all summer.  The trees are just beginning to shed their leaves.  It is beautiful walking over the Chellow with the dogs.  There have been a lot of child murders these past few weeks: it is awful.  One man starved a three-year-old girl to death.  What is in store for him?  I’m glad I don’t know.  The prisoners have already attacked him in jail.

  

Tonight I went to ‘keep fit.’  Ronnie is late home on Tuesdays as he teaches Seminary then teaches the parents a lesson: he is so good. 

I enjoyed ‘keep fit’ and will start a daily routine now and eat less food.  I must get some weight off and get myself looking respectable. 

I have decided that I will try to change my attitude and no matter what I disagree with other people doing I will be as nice as I can, and do what I must do to please my Heavenly Father.

  Joanne is up to date with her Seminary.  We promised her she could go to Spain next year with a church group if she stayed up to date with her Seminary, and she is very keen.  We get up at 6.30 in a morning with her to study.  It is a good feeling.

  

Sunday 6 Oct 1985

It was a very uplifting day at church today.  Ronnie opened with prayer & I closed a good Testimony Meeting. 

Later, we held a fireside at our home, which we do most Sundays now, and 18 people came.  Ronnie talked about Being Your Own Ringmaster, and being in control of our own lives. 

Bro. & Sis [Virgil and Vera] Dick brought a couple of young girl investigators .  They [the Dicks] are such a lovely couple: we shall miss them when they go home next month.

  

Wed 9 Oct

A special day today.  Gary got his call to go on a mission to Toronto.  He rang me at work.  I was so excited I was almost bouncing on my chair.  Later I rang Pam to let her know: she was so excited.  Karen was over the moon & Joanne kept beaming.  We are all very proud of him.

  

SUN 13 OCT

Ronnie spoke at Huddersfield this morning then came on to our lessons.  I taught CTR Primary Class: they are so good.  There is Adele Firth & Elizabeth Robinson, Martin Jackson & Michael Dunn.  The boys were naughty last week, so they promised to be good this week, and they were good: just like little angels.  

  

We had another fireside.  Glen Rowbotham just returned from his mission came and showed 2 films about the Book of Mormon. 

Ronnie spoke about the 3 witnesses and how they always stood by their testimonies.  It was a good meeting; there were 16 people came.  We ran Glen [Rowbotham] home later.  

  

Carol Scott talks in sign language to Peter Sutton who is deaf.  She works tirelessly and it is hard work.  I know from past experience when I have talked to Violet [Chattaway].

  

MON. 14 Oct

Went to Yeadon Town Hall to watch a play.  We took Peggy, Matthew, Joanne, Ronnie, & I.  It was an enjoyable evening.

  

THURS. 17 Oct

A very eventful day today.  Ronnie was called as Stake Executive Secretary.  He will work with the Stake Presidency: Peter Burnett, George Jokl, Brian Rock.  They are such good men and will be good for Ronnie to work with them.

  

Fri 18 Oct

Gary had a bad accident at work tonight.  He was electrocuted and had to be taken to hospital.  The shock threw him across the room and broke his ankle.  There were 450 volts in the oven and Bishop Leonard said he should have been dead.  I know the Lord has blessed him and preserved him. 

Pam rang later in the evening and said she has to go for a test for cancer of the lip.  Ronnie says it is easy to cure.  I pray it will be.  I have much to pray about tonight.

  

SAT 19 Oct

Bradford 2 won the Road Show.  It was about knights and dragons.  I played some maracas in a little band.  Joanne was sad because she had not stayed with the show. 

I told Pres Rock about Gary.  He must have told Pres Jokl, who was very concerned and said, “The devil doesn’t want him to go on a mission, but the Lord has preserved him.”  I agree and feel very thankful to my heavenly Father.

  

We heard about some bombings in Salt Lake this weekend.   It had something to do with a letter Martin Harris is supposed to have written about the gold plates being given to Joseph by a white salamander, which is a kind of magical lizard.  What will people think up next? 

At the moment Ronnie’s callings are, Stake executive Secretary, President of Stake Special Interest, Investigator Teacher, Seminary Teacher for both pupils and parents, choir organizer and, of course, Home Teacher.

  

Sun 20 Oct

We stopped for a baptism tonight.  Ronnie spoke on the Holy Ghost and I closed with prayer.  It was a good spirit.  4 people were baptized.  

  

Joanne is still as lovely as ever.  She bought some black fishnet tights.  Ronnie gave her the choice of wearing them if she wanted, but told her they had bad associations and he didn’t like her to wear them – she didn’t wear them (quite a girl)!!

  

MON. 21 OCT

I fasted today and gave thanks for Gary’s safety, also asking a blessing for Pamela that she may be alright.  I have a testimony of fasting & prayer.

  

THURS 31st Oct

  Autumn is so beautiful.  I walk the dogs for ½ an hour every morning over the golf course.  The trees change every day.  

  Gary had another accident.  He was on the back of a scooter which seized up at 60 miles per hour.   He went skating down the road and his foot suffered greatly as he had nothing on his toes, which were stuck out at the end of his plaster. 

Ronnie says it looks like the only way to get him to Toronto will be to send his ashes.  I keep fasting and praying and the Lord keeps preserving him.

  

Last Sunday, Barry [O’Brien] and Leslie [Reppion] got engaged.  Gillian [Robson] brought lots of buns and pies and we had a supper party after our scripture study.  They are a lovely couple.  We have lots of people come every Sunday, it is good.

  

Last Saturday, Bro. [Virgil] and Sis Dick came for dinner.  They are going home soon and we love them so.  It was so enjoyable to have them with us.  Tonight they brought a ‘thankyou’ note and a beautiful apple pie; the best I ever tasted.  Bro. Virgil Dick made it.  I have been to ward choir practice tonight.

  

Ronnie has been working on his Stake Exec job all night.  He is really working hard on it and enjoying it too.  I am glad to see him serving the Lord so well and being happy with it; my respect for him grows.

  

I made a coat this week.  Marjorie bought a coat which looks like a cloak, so I took a pattern off it and made one.  I am quite pleased with it.

  

Joanne is down at Karen’s.  She wanted to travel Sunday because it meant losing £3.00 baby-sitting on Sat.  Ronnie said it was up to her to choose, but he didn’t approve of her travelling on Sunday.  She gave up the job and lost her £3.00 to keep the Sabbath Holy of her own free will, so Ronnie gave her £3.00 which was all he had, as a reward for righteousness. 

Pamela is well – thanks to the Lord.

  

TUES 5th NOV

Last night we had a FHE at church to say farewell to Bro. [Virgil] & Sis Dick.  Ronnie sang a couple of country western songs, then he brought me on with a tambourine, Joanne to hold the words and sing & Gary with a washboard & horn.  He didn’t want to come on as he had never played it before, but he enjoyed the cheer he got coming on.  We sang a song that we composed ourselves.  Mark Trudgeon [Trudgill] joined us with a base guitar.  He was baptised 2 weeks ago.

  

On Tuesday I was asked to speak to the Young Women and tell them how I felt when my baby Andrew died.  I was rather upset telling them the story.  After 25 years I find it still hurts inside, even though I know I will see this child again if I am worthy.

It’s nice to have Joanne back; she gets more lovely all the time, both physically and as a person.  Both Ronnie and I feel very proud of her.

  

We had a baptism on Sunday for Jack Stacey.   He used to be my next door neighbour when I lived at Wrose.

  

TUES 11 NOV [1985]

The Prophet Spencer W Kimball died last Wednesday, and I heard today that Ezra Taft Benson is now the new Prophet with Gordon B Hinckley as first counsellor and Thomas B Monson as second counsellor.

  

Sunday was a special day.  We had a Remembrance Sacrament, then Ronnie sang the first verse of God Be With You ‘til We Meet Again, and the congregation joined in for Bro. & Sis Dick.  It was very moving.

  

We took Janice Leonard home with us, and her two children, Dawn and Susan.  I like them very much and hope we can help them become members.  Today, Janice was at Relief Society, and she chatted to me a lot.  I do hope she gets baptized.

  

Geraldine [Kirk-Hayward] had a baby boy today, but he is 4 weeks early and not very well.  I must remember to pray for him.  

  

I got time off work today.  I was told I could have time off work next Tues to go to the Temple with Gary to see him take out his endowments and to have him and Andrew sealed to us.  I am excited about it, what a wonderful blessing.  Joanne can go to watch the sealing.

  

19 NOVEMBER 1985                  (SPECIAL) 

  

Today is my birthday and the presents I got were very nice, but the blessings were “out of this world.”  Gary went through the Temple and took out his endowments.  Ronnie and I went with him, and Karen.  Then Joanne was allowed to come to the sealing room and watch Gary and Andrew be sealed to Ronnie & I.  Bro. Geoffrey Coles stood proxy for Andrew.  Ronnie was very moved and wept.  I felt very calm and happy.  Whilst waiting for Gary in the chapel area I was a bit overcome, especially when Ronnie said, You will get your baby back today.”  It’s nearly 25 years since he died and I still hurt deep inside, and sometimes yearn for him.  If only Pam could have been there, it would have made my happiness complete.  

  

I looked at my three children sat in a row in the sealing room and wondered what I had done to deserve such a blessing, when other women, good faithful women, had lost their children to the world.

  

We left the Temple at about 6-30 (p.m.) and stopped in London for a short while for Kentucky Fried Chicken, then on to Telford to drop Karen and pick up Abigail.  We left Abigail in Sheffield at Nanny Brownlow’s, then back to Bradford.  It was about 4 o’clock (a.m.) when I got to bed and I was up at 7 30 (a.m.) to get ready for work.  The Lord blest me that I was able to work alright.

  

20 NovTaught in-service lesson to Primary tonight.  Primary is so important.

  

DEC 3rd 1985

Last Sunday was Fast Sunday.  I didn’t go because of a bad head.  I get quite a lot of these ‘pressure’ headaches.  I wish I had gone, as Gary bore his testimony.  I have waited so long to hear him, but he has promised me he will bear it again next Sunday when we have our family talks.

  

We had Mella [Hecht]  home for tea on Sunday.  Now Mella is going to be our new grandma.  She is 86 years old and comes from Vienna, I [a} wonderful character and very loveable.  If it is possible, we will take her to live with us.  She is so grateful for our friendship.  There must be a lot of sorrow and loneliness that would be so easy to cure if only people loved one another more.

  

Pam rang last week and I told her about the Temple Visit.  She doesn’t respond when I speak about Ronnie.  I feel a resentment there somewhere.  I feel sure she would love him if she knew him.

  

Joanne is building up a good relationship with him, but [she] gets very cross with Matthew because he is lazy.  I can see problems for Matthew if he marries.  He doesn’t know how to share, especially share, and give of his time.  He doesn’t have his father’s willingness to put himself out for another’s happiness.  Maybe he will learn.  I hope so for his own sake.  You can only gain happiness by giving it.  I feel I should record I love my husband very much, and it grown stronger all the time.  We are so fortunate to have church teachings to help us overcome our problems.

  

15 DEC 1985

Stake Conference this weekend.  Elder [Russell C] Taylor was there.  He was the authority who gave Ronnie his priesthood blessings, or rather restored them. 

Last Sunday was the last sacrament Service Gary was at.  I spoke – Gary spoke, and Ronnie spoke.  It was very enjoyable.  On Monday we had a super dinner up at Ken & Carolyn’s.  We took lots of photos and generally had some fun.

  

Tuesday it was youth party at Bradford 2 and Gary was there.  When Ronnie came home from Seminary we took him & Matt & Joanne & Martin Dunn over to President Burnett’s home to be set apart as a missionary.  Joanne cried and so did I but it was a wonderful experience I will never forget.  President Burnett blessed him, that he would not be afraid, and that he would have many choice experiences (spiritual).

  

Wednesday morning we got up at 5.45 and went across to Ken’s to say goodbye.  Ken & Carolyn and Joanne & Martin Dunn went to see Gary off at the airport.  Rachel [Leonard] will be nearly 3 when Gary comes home.  It is a long time for a young man to go away.  I am very proud of my son.

  

Ronnie was sustained as Stake Exec[utive Secretary] this Sunday.  I was very proud of him.  Joanne sang in the youth choir on Sat night, and I felt very proud of her.  The conference was extremely well organised due to hours of hard work put into it by Ronnie. 

On Sat, we had a “Sandwich Break” with Pres. Taylor & the Stake Presidency.  It was a lovely table full of lovely food.

  

I enjoyed the conference and plan to live the Gospel more fully, to make sure I pray night and morning, and to do my genealogy.

  

  

End of entries for 1985

  

 
1985
1985