25th Jan 1986

We had an enjoyable Christmas.  On Christmas Day Peggy [Rastrick] came and Miss [Mary] Gill – Joanne’s friend from school social services project.  She is a blind and partially deaf lady.  Joanne takes her shopping every Sunday.  We played Braille Scrabble and Miss Gill drew the game with me – she is very clever.  We had a sing-song later in the day for Peggy, who has a tuneless voice.  We had some fund trying to sing in tune.  

Boxing Day the two missionary elders came for the day.  I hope Gary is enjoying himself at the MTC [Provo].  We heard one of the Quorum of the Seventies [...] with his family spent the day (Christmas) with the young men in the MTC and Gary said it was a lovely day.  We have had 4 letters up to press and each one more spiritual than the last.  I am so grateful he has this opportunity to grow spiritually.

I had a surprise part for Ronnie 11th Jan.  Elder Gordon Williams & Margaret came with Geoff & Mary Coles & Ben, and Michael and Margaret Franklin, and my brother Maurice with his wife Linda.  We had a very happy evening together.

We are working hard fellowshipping church members – sometimes older members need fellowshipping too.  At the moment, Ronnie is teaching Kenny Leonard’s 2 sons, Andrew & Richard.  Who knows where his influence will end?  They say they wouldn’t mind going on a mission.

I haven’t heard from Pam since last Nov except for a Christmas card which said “Happy Xmas,” why?

We have started living the Celestial Living Program which means rising at 6 30 and doing various things every day, based on the missionary program.  I enjoy the challenge and feel I am progressing already.

We haven’t sold our house yet.  I don’t worry most of the time, but I would like to move and get settled down in Huddersfield.  We have a lot of work in Bradford, I know, but we also need to encourage others to do what we are doing and to try to make the ward more like a family unit.  We bring someone home every Sunday.

New Year’s Eve was very quiet.  We spent it at home with Gillian and Charlotte [Robson].  About 1-30 [a.m.] Joanne rang from Huddersfield to say she had been forgotten; could Dad come and pick her up?  Of course he did without a second thought.  It is good to have a man who you can ask to do things for you and know he won’t be cross or make you feel a nuisance.

Joanne gets more beautiful, and she is quite fun to be with.



Set off yesterday to go to Telford for Lewis’s baptizm.  The windscreen wipers packed up on the motorway so we came back home and eventually set off again in Mike Dunn’s car, which he kindly lent us.  It was a lovely baptizm.  Ronnie spoke about Faith Repentance & Baptizm.  He said not matter how small we are, we all have something to contribute.  Michael [Gilmore], Jacqueline’s husband, spoke on the Holy Ghost.  He said it was the best gift anyone could have. 

We received a letter from Gary yesterday.  It was the fifth and each letter gets better.  I feel very proud of him and so glad he is making such an effort to serve.  I have an ear infection and don’t feel too well. 

Ronnie & Joanne are both very good and loving.


Wed 5th February

Back at work.  Gail got her pregnancy confirmed to day, that is always a lovely thing.  I feel sad that my youth is gone and I can’t have babies to Ronnie.  Maybe in the eternities if we are good.


SAT 8th FEB 86

Barry [O’Brien] & Leslie [Reppion] were married today.  Ronnie was an usher.  It was a very nice wedding, but not as beautiful as the [London] Temple Marriage which Ronnie was a witness to, with Bishop {Christopher] Hopkinson.  President [Joseph] Hampstead married them, and he kept calling Ronnie- Ronnie the Bray, & Bishop Hopkinson – Hoppy. 

We slept over in the Temple.  It was so relaxing and almost like a second honeymoon.  The snow is fairly thick, but the roads were clear and dry, and we even had sunshine on the way down.

Got another super letter from Gary today.


Mon 10th FEB (1986)

A couple came to look at the house today.  I didn’t think they are really interested.  We seem as if the house will never sell.  I worry a lot about managing my money lately.  The car seems to be continually eating money.



Went visiting teaching tonight with Violet [Chattaway].  Whilst we were at Sister Lorna Moss’s house my moped was stolen.  I didn’t feel upset at all, I think I knew the Lord would look after me.  Later that night the police found it and it was returned in good order. 

I am struggling to write a talk for Sunday.  I wish I could get as close to the Lord as I used to.  I have started the Celestial Living programme, which is taken from the missionary’s programme – up at 6-30 etc.  It does help.  It gives you that extra time to study and pray and write your journal. 

Another letter from Gary today.  He is really excited about his mission.  I feel so proud of him.  He is teaching 2 men who are from the reorganized church.  That will be a challenge, must remember to pray for them.


TUES 18 FEB 86

Ronnie & I spoke at Bradford 2 on Sunday.  I spoke first about the power of Example, then Ronnie spoke on 7 Deadly Heresies.  I really enjoyed our visit with the ward, I felt so much at home. 

On Monday, Ken & Carolyn & Rachel came over for FHE.  We read each others’ letters from Gary and wondered amongst ourselves at the change and growth in this young man.  I feel proud to call him son, and I know Ronnie feels the same.  He writes such lovely fatherly letters to him, full of love and wisdom.

I went into town today for a Tatting Shuttle, but all the shops were shut.  I must get hold of one.  I have to teach tatting in Relief Society and I have to relearn myself first.  It must be nearly 40 years since I did any. 

I read my Patriarchal Blessing today.  It is 13 years since I got it and I still love to read it.  I hope Gary is keeping his journal.  I must write to Pam.  She seems upset when she rang Joanne.  I hope she’s OK.  I do love her.


Mch 7th Thur Friday.

I am getting into a good routine now.  I quite enjoy getting up early.  I can now sleep when I go to bed alone.  All I need to do is pretend I am single again and imagine I am in my old bed.  My mind feels peaceful and I just fall asleep.  It’s amazing how much control one can have over one’s body if the mind is under control.  I am not getting as angry and irritable as I was before because I won’t allow my mind to dwell on those things I don’t like.  I feel I have progressed.

I was reading Exodus 35 this morning, and in verse 21 it talks about those who serve the Lord.  It is the same today.  If your heart is stirred up you will serve.  We need to stir each other sometimes.  How wise to meet every 7th day.


Wed 19th Mch 1986

We went to Barry & Leslie’s house on Sunday for tea.  They are a lovely ‘Godly’ young couple.  Monday was spent helping Joanne catch up with her seminary.  Ronnie is very patient with her.  I brought some water to soak his feet and then I cut his toe nails, oh, what fun!!  Tuesday was a special meeting for young women at Huddersfield – they had a video made in Salt Lake by the leaders of Young Women.  It gave them a theme of standing up for Jesus wherever they were and 7 virtues to live up to.  All the girls got a silk flower.  Joanne said she went in goose pimples – I do believe she felt the spirit.  She is such a special child, I am sure the Lord has a special work for her today to do.  My visiting teachers have just gone, they are Sister Ruth Jackson & Mary Jennings.  I will miss them when I move.  We talked about riches and I said I might not have a lot of money but I am exceedingly rich in family and blessings.


Wed April 16th

Just got back from Visiting Teaching with Violet [Chattaway].  We had a good reception wherever we went.  I hope we have done some good with our message.  It was raining very heavily all the time we were out.  My moped was stood in the pouring rain and it hates the wet, the plug gets wet and it won’t start but tonight with the Lord’s help I’m sure it started straight away and took me all the way home.  I am blessed.  

We went to Karen’s last weekend.  Ronnie spoke at Sacrament Meeting, followed by Karen, followed by Lewis.  It’s good to know my family serve the Lord so well.  We went on to a fireside for Special Interests.  Ronnie spoke on “Making the Most of Today.”  It was very good and I’m sure left many people determined to get on with living and not wait until some miracle occurred to change their lives/

Pam rang last night.  She sounded happier – she is selling her house and moving to Vashon Island.  She is teaching her children at home and by the sound of it doing an excellent job.  Whilst I was talking to her the postman called and brought her a letter from Gary.  He has moved from London to Brantwood [Toronto, Canada] now and is really having a good time.  There are more people to teach and he is really feeling the spirit.  In his letter to Pam, he thanked her for looking after him for almost a year when he was 15.  It is rather late but better late than never.

I bought another moped last week, it is a 75 cc and has a pillion seat.  It is much better as it has that bit more power.

We have found a house at Fartown, Huddersfield & sold ours here, so now we are just waiting for all the paper work to go through.



Karen had dinner with Dwayne Young the General Authority for Primary, yesterday.  I feel so proud that my daughter has proved herself worthy to be a Stake Primary President and mix with such wonderful people.  I am pleased and proud that she is on the right path to exaltation through her righteous endeavours to please & serve the Lord.  I full realize that you don’t have to be up at the ‘top’ to get back to Heavenly Father, but I know that whatever you do you have to work hard at it, and Karen certainly does.  Lewis is a perfect husband, he supports her fully, and that must be hard work in itself with 4 small children & a bishopric calling.


Ronnie is at Huddersfield today.  He really takes his calling as Exec Sec seriously.  He is organising the day for the 3 sisters from Salt Lake – General Authorities for Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society.  There was a meeting this afternoon and one this evening.  I wish I could be there but if everyone goes who could go there would be 4000 turning up.


Karen told me a story told to her by Dwaine Young.  There was a small boy who asked if she had shaken hands with the prophet.  She said yes and he was filled with awe.  So she said, would you like to shake hands with me?  He said yes and did so then declared that he wouldn’t wash his hands again.  After some persuasion he was convinced he should.  Later, he came with a plastic bag full of water.  He had washed his hand and saved the water and said he couldn’t hold it any longer so he had drunk it.  We should be more willing to drink from the scriptures and absorb the spiritual things in life.


Yesterday we went to the Temple.  I really enjoyed it.  We slept in the car in the car park and I felt quite rested.  We only got to do 2 sessions though, so we have set a goal for 25 sessions this year.  We are going for a week in June, which will give us a booster.  I needed to go to the Temple; I was getting rather spiritually low.  We are getting super letters from Gary.  He is teaching a lot of people and is so excited about it all.  I am quite amazed.  We are planning a convention 9, 10, 11 May.  It is going to be a good one!!!


MAY 12th 86

Still getting super spiritual letters from Gary.  He says he keeps all the [missionary] rules so the spirit was with [him] and he certainly [is] having some success.  Tonight for family home evening we spoke about what rules heavenly father had set for us in our home and how we could keep them better so we could have a more spiritual home.

Ronnie is to be ordained a High {Priest next week so he can be called to the High Council.  I feel very proud of the way he works and doesn’t seek for higher callings.  Joanne is growing up nicely, she is fun to be around (most of the time) and very hard working and considerate.  Next 2 weeks she will be 16.

We had the [Single Adult] convention last weekend for £6.  It was a huge success.  We gave them plenty to eat both physically and spiritually and a super band on Saturday.  Ronnie makes a good host as he has a natural ability to talk to people and he remembers their names so they feel cared about.  The testimony meeting Sunday morning was full of love & spirit.  I have to write to the temple president to hold my Genealogy whilst I go down in June.  We went down to the Temple in April 25th and slept in the car in the car park.  It wasn’t too bad, but we only got 2 sessions in because they don’t have one in the afternoon now.  Then we went back to BYU Centre with Fred & June [Lawrence] for tea.  It was pleasant.  We went for a walk round the shops to get a card & present for Matthew’s 21st birthday.  We bought him a nice card and decided to get him a silver bracelet back in Bradford.  June filled out car up with food again!  Joanne finished Seminary; she was glad she did.  It was Church History and she was impressed with the way people suffered and still stuck to the Church.  She got her 40 scriptures and a new dress.



Ronnie was ordained a High Priest on the 21st May and called to the High Council to serve as Special Interest Adviser, or Single Adult, as it is now called.  Matthew & I were allowed to go and be present at the ordination.  It was very spiritual.  Pres. [Peter] Burnett is very spiritual, a really lovely man and so gentle too, strangely as are his counsellors, Pres. [Brian] Rock & Pres. [George Michael] Jokl.  They speak quietly yet with strength.  I really love these men.  Pres. Jokl interviewed me for a Temple Recommend recently, and he talks to me as if I was something special.  I feel almost guilty.  I wish I was like what people think I’m like.  My emotions swing about a lot and I sometimes feel quite desolate.  I am glad I can pray for help from my Heavenly Father even so I feel so alone sometimes.  I shall be glad when this time of life passes and I can feel normal again, though I know it will strengthen my character if I can keep the commandments through it all.


Joanne is making a ‘quiet’ book.  I have been very pleasantly surprised watching her because she has made such a good job of it, better than I could and her ideas are brilliant.  She is developing her talents beautifully.  She will be a great asset to Young Womens and Relief Society.  In fact, I have known a lot of sisters who don’t have her skills, or rather won’t develop those skills.  Joanne has just finished another jumper for herself.  We had a letter from Gary’s Mission President’s wife, she said Gary was Happy, Bright & Healthy and that he is a good missionary because he is dedicated hard working & spiritual – should I feel so proud of my children, or perhaps now I should say our children seeing as they are sealed to Ronnie & I.

It is so beautiful round the Chellow just now.  The bluebells are like a blue morning mist clinging to the ground.  I noticed that at the far side where the sun hardly penetrates there are very few flowers and the woods seem dull and dark.  I think some people who don’t get enough sunshine in their lives can become like this.  I will look for people who need some uplifting and happy events in their lives and try to make life more pleasant for them, then maybe they will blossom.


Sunday 20th July 1986

Sometimes I think when Ronnie is so learned about the Gospel and can defend it so well, maybe my testimony isn’t as strong as his.  Yet, when I look back at my beginnings in the Church, I remember people saying, “You are using the Church as a crutch, because your marriage has broken up.”  But, this was not so.  When I joined the Church and for a year and a half [following my joining], I was married, not happily, and to a husband who only came a couple of times to Church.  It was hard to be a member.  I had four young children to take with me; no money for bus fares and knowing I would receive ‘verbal abuse’ if the dinner wasn’t ready when my husband returned for his morning drinks with ‘the boys.’  I walked, pushing a pram with Joanne in and Gary sat on the top.  It was downhill going, but an awful drag uphill all the way home.  I was so uplifted by the spirit it was worth it, and I knew no matter how hard the struggle I wanted to go to feel that warm glow I now know it was the spirit.  If I hadn’t had a testimony I could have had a much easier life, but I realized the far-reaching effect, in fact the eternal effect, what I was learning would have on my family.  Now, with my baby gone 16 years old and Gary 20 on Sat.  I am grateful for the strength the Lord gave me to hold on to what I knew was true.  Yes, my testimony is very valid, and how grateful I am for it.  Gary is on a mission in Canada and had just been made a District Leader.  I feel so honoured.


Sunday 17TH August 1986

I set a goal today to write in my journal every day.  It was our last Sunday at Bradford [Second] Ward as members.  We are moving al last to Hudds on Sat.  Shirley Birge gave a lovely talk about example.  She said we have to be seen to be improving and living the Gospel because you can’t always undo the effects your bad example has.  You may never get the chance.  She said if you set one goal per month and persevere with it, by the end of the month it will be a habit and you can easily carry on whilst setting a new goal.  Sister Pat Crossley in relief Society asked us to write down our goal and pray about it, so I have done that now.

It’s been a good week.  We took Peggy [Rastrick] to see Don Lindt – the astronaut – on Thurs.  She wasn’t impressed with his talk on the Book of Mormon – I was!  I rang Ronnie [Goodwin], Janet, Audrey, and Maurice.  I didn’t get through to Maurice.  The others weren’t interested.  Maurice called with Linda to see us this afternoon.  When I told him about it he said he would have liked to have gone and Linda said she would and their boys would have.  How I wish I had tried harder.  Ronnie has been busy writing answers to questions by Christopher Leonard to President [Gordon] Williams from a Vicar in Toronto.  He has until Sept 1st to answer them.  I am retyping them for him and there are pages and pages!!!

Matt has moved out.  He is renting a house with three friends from the Pizza Hut [where he is head waiter].  I hope it goes alright for him.  I miss Joanne – she is with Karen in Telford until the end of this month.  I miss Karen too – she hasn’t rung for weeks, she is offended with Ronnie.  I hope she can learn to forgive and work at building good relationships.  I have learned that they don’t ‘just happen,’ you have to take and give chances & to try again.  God gives them to us, surely we can learn to give them to each other.  

Ruth Holt has come back to church with her children, well the three young ones.  I am so pleased she did it before I left.  Bro. & Sis Clarke [Elder Robert Clarke & his wife] are so good to her.  They run her to Church and take her home.  When I called visiting teaching they had taken them all down to McDonald’s (yes in Bradford!).


Mon 18TH Aug

Well, so far so good.  I haven’t forgotten to write today.  I have been so busy today – washing – ironing – cleaning and cooking for Ken & Carolyn & Rachael [Leonard] who came to tea, and in between typing up Ronnie’s answers to the Minister’s questions.  I like busy days when I can see what I have worked for.  It makes the day worthwhile.  We laughed and sang and had a very enjoyable evening – we put some more onto Gary’s tape – we have been making it since Christmas!!!  Rachael did all her little party pieces; she is a beautiful child.  Patrice [Sanders] called with his brother for the planks in the back garden – we are moving on Saturday.  The Job Centre in Hudds rang about a job.  I go for 2 interviews tomorrow.  I also did some exercises today.  I am trying to do them every day.



I have had some bad headaches again today.  I wish they would stop.  I had an interview for a job today at Rees Hanson; a solicitor's in Hudds.  It was for a receptionist.  Ronnie picked me up and we went and looked at our new house.  I could begin to visualize what it will be like.  I did a few exercises today – a few are always better than none.  Still working on Ronnie’s typing.



Exercised again today – I’m doing well.  Sent a card and a letter to Maureen Payne, she is so calm and getting all her affairs in order.  She is an example to all of us.  How brave!   Wrote to Joanne and sent photos of her 11th birthday party with a cake with BUCKS FIZZ written on the side.  It was an old film I just found and had developed.  Ronnie didn’t get in until 10 to eleven.  he has a presidency meeting.  It was a long day but I don’t mind when I know he is serving the lord.  Lewis rang to say Karen was feeling low so I rang her tonight.  She didn’t seem to want to talk too much.  I hope she feels better soon.  I like typing these answers for Ronnie.  I didn’t understand exactly how the apostasy developed before; I have learned quite a lot.



PACKING PACKING PACKING.  I think these books are breeding.  When we look away, they never seem to get any less.  No exercises today – no time.  Joanne rang.  She’s worried about us going to the Temple on her first week at a new school.  Must admit, I’m a bit worried but we must go to the Temple we are so behind with our work there.


FRI 22 AUG  

Spent most of the day cleaning our new home in Huddersfield, and trying to get enough boxes.  Ronnie solved some of the problem by taking over a car load of books tonight and bringing back the empty boxes.  The weather is a bit depressing; it rained all day.  I took my last walk around the Chellow.  It is so beautiful round there.  I really will miss it.  I often talked with my Heavenly Father walking through the woods or over the golf course.


SAT 23 AUG  

Well, this is a whole week now I have written in my journal.  Today we have moved house and home to 244 Alder Street, Hudds.  We had Wood’s removal men and they were very good.  We started at 8-30 and finished by 1-10, and when you consider the amount of stuff we moved, that was very good.  Ken & Carolyn [Leonard] came and helped us move out, and Barry Isles and Neil McEwen came to help us sort out.  At 8-30 [p.m.] we went to bed and watched tele.  We were shattered!  The animals seem to be settling down OK.  We took them for a walk along the canal bank.  Got a lovely letter from Gary.



We had a nice welcome from Hudds [Second] ward today.  Four of the young men spoke on Faith, Repentance, Baptism, and the Holy Ghost.  Then we went to Neil & Wendy McEwen’s for a nice meal.  We are finding some nice walks for the dogs.  I rang Joanne this evening.  She is worried that we will be away at her first week at another school, so Ronnie has decided to have another week of his holidays and we will go to the Temple the week after next.  One of the boys who spoke said if we do nothing we are in fact giving the Devil the opportunity to do something, and he doesn’t waste time.  I thought that was a very profound statement for a young boy.  Tonight we attended a fireside at the Hudds Chapel.  Bryce Chamberlain gave a performance of part of the life of Joseph Smith – it gave you some idea of what he was really like, and some of the things he suffered.  I couldn’t find my clothes this morning.  They were in a bag in the front room.  It’s all good fun!!



I felt at times today like I was swimming against the tide trying to sort out our house.  I felt disappointed that I hadn’t got through the work I intended.  My cold and leg pains didn’t help.  We went to dinner, then FHE at Bro & Sis Clarke’s flat.  They are an elderly [missionary] couple working in the Hudds [Second] ward.  It was an enjoyable break.  The missionaries brought Carol [Iverson]  who is to be baptised on Thurs.  She is a young girl with 2 small children who love her very much.  She seems a very good mother.  We ran her home to Rastrick.  It was raining very heavily.



Still struggling to sort out the house.  We shopped for bookshelves and a typewriter today.  Wrote to Joanne & Gray and Pamela, and sent a card to Peggy [Rastrick] with our new address.  There are so many people to write to.  I’ll do a few each day.




Made a few ‘phone calls to day to tidy up our affairs in Bradford.  We went to Slaithwaite and bought a lovely blue carpet for our sun lounge.  It is 1o’ x 14’ and cost £85.  It has 80% nylon & 20% wool, so it is quite soft yet hard wearing.  I am very pleased with it.  At last, I painted the little bedroom, and, when Ronnie went to a presidency meeting, I emulsioned the pantry – at last, things are moving.  Ronnie is beginning to see daylight in his study.  He loves it in there.



My mother’s birthday today.  I miss her sometimes.

Ronnie nearly has his study in order.  It seems hard work getting some order into this house.  Had a welcome break tonight.  We went to a Baptizm  then onto Sis Clarke’s flat for some refreshments and a chat.  When we got home, Ken, & Carolyn & Rachel drew up behind us.  They like our new house!!  Ken wants Ronnie to speak next Sunday evening at a Young Adult fireside at Bradford.  I rang Joanne – she will be home on Sunday.  Lewis & Karen will bring her home se we can make a nice meal.  It will give me some incentive to get on with the sorting. 

Carolyn said Gary said in a letter to her & Ken that he remembers many years ago Bishop Brian Whitehead talking to the boys about getting onto a higher spiritual plane.  He didn’t understand what he meant then, but now he does, and he says that he can see it on the horizon and feels that he can get there if he works hard.  His progress since going on a mission is amazing.  I am truly grateful for this great blessing.



We put the carpet down and cleaned the Sun Lounge today.  It is looking nice.  Did some more shopping today.  I get despondent over money.  There seems to be so many things to pay that I hadn’t accounted for.  I wish there was no such thing as money!!!  There never seems quite enough to go around.  Wanted to start my talk for Sunday but I’m too tired – must do some tomorrow.



Papered the little bedroom today – Joanne is coming home tomorrow.  I am looking forward to it.  Speech Festival tonight.  Ronnie spoke about his childhood memories.  When I got home I washed up – put the rest of the wallpaper up – baked some choc chip cookies and fudge cake – wrote a talk for Bradford tomorrow.  I am very tired, it is now 12.20 [am].  GOODNIGHT.


SUN 31 AUG Today was a good day.  One of those especially good days.  This morning we went to Bradford [Second Ward] to give our farewell talks.  I talked about my spiritual growth in Bradford – it was a lovely, happy service and the Star class sung their class song for me.  We got to Hudds for Relief Society, which I enjoyed.  The sisters are very friendly, but I have to find my own niche in there which only time can do.  We hurried home to make dinner for Karen & Lewis and children; they had brought Joanne home.  It is nice to have her home again. 

Tonight we went to Young Adult fireside at Bradford.  Ronnie showed clips of the film Elephant Man, and the evening was about our attitude toward people with special needs, or who are abnormal in some way.


1986 Mon Sep 1

I got the washing done before we all went to town.  I went to sign on, then to the Job Centre to look for a job…  They are very scarce.  We took Joanne to Greenhead [High] School.  It is a beautiful place but it is full.  I was more disappointed than Joanne.  We went to Huddersfield New College and she got in there on a Pre-Vocational course which enabled her to do at least 4 ‘O’ levels and train for a job.  We called for some wallpaper and paint for Joanne’s bedroom and saw a lovely bathroom suite, which we could afford so guess what we came home with.  I keep spending money!!  It was beautiful weather today.  It will be a lovely garden to sit in the sun in when we get it nice – Work!  Work!  Work!  There is so much to do.  Wrote to Gary.  It seems strange to me that he is serving the lord every minute of the day.  I don’t really do very much compared.


TUES SEP 2 Had a trip to Bradford today – I was disappointed the curtain material I liked was not long enough for our windows.  Arthur Leonard came to tea today.  He tries so hard to be of some worth.  Joanne is nervous about school tomorrow – Ronnie asked a special blessing for her in our evening prayers.


WED SEPT 3 Joanne started College today.  She seems quite comfortable about it and has made friends already.  Silva [Scott] called to see if we needed any help, and Barry Isles.  It’s nice to know people care.  Silva invited Joanne to YW tomorrow.  Ronnie had to dash off at about 5-0 to meetings etc. with Stake Pres.  He takes his calling very seriously, I’m glad to say.  Joanne seems to have settled down at home nicely.  She is getting on with her Dad very well now.  At first, she was very starchy.  I am working hard to get her room decorated.  She stripped the walls and painted the window frame.  We got her a desk and a wall mirror and Ronnie is going to make her a notice board.  She is quite pleased.  It’s nice to be able to have a nice home.  Ronnie has his study and I have my nice neat front room.  Well, it will be when the bathroom suite is out of there.


THURS SEPT 4 ELECTRICIANS came today.  They were putting plugs in and fixing lights.  Ronnie was fitting the new bathroom suite.  I was decorating Joanne’s bedroom.  It really was a hive of activity.  Joanne put her desk together with a little bit of help from her Dad: he is so patient and doesn’t mind breaking off what he is doing to help her.

I wish I could have all my children at home, even just for one day.  You don’t realise how much you love people until they’re gone away.  I pray every day for them all.  Joanne is bouncing: she is really enjoying school.


FRI 5 SEPT It was nice to stand back tonight and look at Joanne’s room.  I finished decorating this afternoon.  Ronnie put her mirror up and curtains, and carpet down.  She has a nice little room with everything one could want.  I hope she appreciates it.

Bishop [John P] Scott called to see me tonight.  He asked me if I would teach Institute class for Hudds 1 & 2.  I am so pleased to be called.  It will be nice to be serving again.


SAT 6 SEPT I tiled the ceiling in the little bedroom today, and, at last, I got my net curtains up in my bedroom.  I bought some that had a frill and went up in the centre.  I’ve always wanted some curtains like that.  I feel pleased every time I see them so I guess it was worth £11.

Julie & Danny [Leonard] called to see Joanne tonight.  She has her room all nice now so she can entertain happily.   It’s good to see old friends.  I’ll be glad when the ‘phone is on.  We don’t seem to be in contact with the outside world.

Promised the Lord I would start studying again to get close to him.


SUN 7 SEPT CHARLIE THE CAT DIED TODAY.  It’s amazing how much you care for something you profess not to like.  I wish I had been kinder to him.  In a way, I have learnt a lesson from this.  I wouldn’t like the lord to judge me just now, so I will try to show more love and respect for animals and my fellow men.

It was our first Fast & Testimony at Hudds.  I really enjoyed it.  I was sustained as Institute teacher.  I am really looking forward to it.  Next week I plan to meet my pupils.  I feel my confidence is returning a little; maybe it is because the lord has faith in me – I must have faith in the Lord.

Bishop [Ian] Owens came to see me as representative of [the] Stake President [George M Jokl].  He asked me if I would accept the calling of Stake Primary Inservice Leader.  I feel very honoured and said yes.  It’s good to feel I belong again.


MON 8TH SEPT (1986) I am writing this in the [London] Temple accommodation.  We worked hard to get through all the work we had to do before we set off.  On the way down, we called at Mary Brownlow’s in Sheffield for some curtains for our house.  Unfortunately, Mary had given the ones we could have used away a few weeks ago.  Never mind, it was worth a try.

We had a pleasant trip down and I am looking forward to working for a whole week down here.  I have never been down midweek before.

Saw an aeroplane on the way down and I got pangs of longing to see both Gary & Pamela, they seem so very far away.


TUES 9TH SEPT Spent all day in the Temple.  First session 8 00 in the morning – last session 7 30 at night.  We did 5 endowments.  It was very tiring but I am glad we did it.  I hope they are accepted.  It makes you feel secure belonging to this true church.



It’s Andrew Beck’s birthday tomorrow.  He will be 7.  I lost their address and then lost the cards.  I am really careless.  We did 3 sessions today than had a run into London to Fred & June’s at BYUC  for dinner.  It was a nice change.

My neck hurts again.  It is a nuisance, I feel like I’m always complaining.  Met Jane & Brian Gough in the Temple today.  They are so sweet.  June went to Peru on a mission and Brian investigated the Church whilst she was away because he wanted to know what made a woman leave a man she loved and go on a mission believing she had lost him for it.  Now he’s a bishop! ! !



I did 4 sessions today.  Ronnie did 5.  I washed my hair then felt guilty.  Maybe someone is waiting for me to go in this afternoon.  I am getting used to going through the Temple; it’s not as hard as it used to be.  One day, I would like to do a mission here.



2 sessions in the Temple this morning.  It gets easier.  Went to Brighton for the afternoon.  Got some Lowry prints for Pam and a stick of rock for Joanne – hope she’s been OK.



3 sessions and then home.  It was good to see a lot of friends today in the Temple, especially Andrew Freeke preparing for his mission.  It made me think of Gary – I miss him.  All was well at home.  It took 4 hours, which is pretty good, only I wish we didn’t travel so fast.  I feel worn out.



George Jokl spoke about ‘Free Agency.’  It was a good talk.  He made me feel I could do better – today I felt aggressive and emotional.  It was a bad day but I feel I handled it well, considering my inner fight. 

Took some goodies over to Margaret Firth and Colleen Lodge.  They are going over to Toronto, so they are taking some things over for Gary.  I wish I was going with them.  I have a lot of blessings, but I sometimes feel the world is passing me by and I am missing out on something.  I’ll be right tomorrow.



Felt calmer today.  Got through a lot of work but not much to show for it.  I wonder of Gary has got his parcel yet.  Went to the Job Centre and the woman there made me feel inadequate.  I wish I hadn’t met her.  Ronnie finished his answers to the vicar’s questions.  It’s almost a book, defending our faith.



It was warm and sunny today.  Joanne helped me clear the hut out and tidy the back garden.  I can visualize the garden being a place of refuge from the world.  I want it private and beautiful.



Had a Primary meeting tonight but had to come home half way through with a migraine.  I really felt ill.



Got a Day Rover  and went to Bradford.  Shopped, visited Gail who is to be induced tomorrow.  Must remember her in my prayers.  Picked up some post from the old house and came home.  This morning whilst walking the dogs I found a haven of blackberries – ooh!  Shep not very well.  He has been in a bad fight, we think.  I’ll pray for him too.



Laid some carpet in the loft on Friday.  Found little creatures in the soya meat.  That comes of not ‘rotating,’ mind you, nobody likes soya meat.  I must get some more tinned meat and protein foods.  I can ‘see’ what I have up there it’s much better.  Five boys came to sleep.  They are all at the YA Convention.  They come from Gateshead and Newcastle; a nice set of boys.  2 served a mission, 2 going to serve, and 1 thinking about it.  I’m glad Gary went. 

Last week we got a letter from Elder Dehart who is now home in Ogden.  He said he wouldn’t have missed his mission for anything.  This seems to be the reaction.  Gary feels this way; he is really enjoying serving a mission.  Sat Ronnie gave a [workshop presentation] at the convention, then we went shopping and bought a Hoover and some light fittings.  The weather has been beautiful.  I wish we could get the garden tidy.  The Primary Presidency spoke today.  It was a nice Sacrament Service and made me feel glad I was back in Primary even though it was at stake level.  I went into nursery to help out today and got to know some lovely little children.  They were fresh and new to me so I could love them without reserve; no one had given me any preconceived ideas.


SUN 28th SEPT.

I went to Bradford 1 & Bfd 2 ward conferences today as Inservice Leader in [stake] Primary.  It was a lovely experience.  We [stake Primary leaders] took the Primaries whilst the leaders & teachers went for spiritual upliftment.  I really enjoyed it and felt a lovely spirit. 

George Jokl gave a different talk in Ward 1 to the morning session.  He was visibly moved by the spirit and it felt good to know such men as he and Pres. [Brian] Rock and Pres. [Peter] Burnett and of course Ronnie.  They are so humble really and work so hard and most of all have so much love for each other and us it makes me want to do better just to show them my support.  We had a lovely lunch provide by Ward 2, and met many good old friends.  I really enjoyed today.  On our way home we picked Matt up and brought him home for tea.  He slept over.  Joanne is very well established in the Church.  I pray she will always be as active as she is now.  She works hard at her seminary – much better than last year, mind you she has matured a lot and I think she finds it easier to do which is a help.  I still haven’t heard from Gary.  It’s over five weeks now and I feel very low about it.  I hope it’s all the post that’s gone haywire because I feel if he hasn’t written for five weeks he must be feeling low.  I only hope my letters are getting through.  I wish Karen would write.  She writes to Joanne but she doesn’t let me see her letters.


Oct 7th

Started [teaching] Institute today.  The lesson didn’t go too well, as I was nervous.  I don’t know my pupils yet but it will get better.  Also, gave an inservice lesson to Primary Stake Board.  Sis {Patricia] Fahey seems pleased to have me.  I fasted for Gary today and for my teaching.  It was a good fast.  I got closer to the Lord than I had for quite a time.  I am excited about starting up in business.  I have rented a shop in Blackmoorfoot Road, and hope to open a fent shop soon.  No letter from Gary.  6 weeks last Sat was the last one.  I am getting a bit uptight about it.  I pray for him all the time.  The Lord blessed us with 2 counters [for the shop] today – free.


Oct 8TH

Went to paint my new shop today.  I watched the people passing but there didn’t seem many.  I will have to let the people know I’m there.  I wonder how it can help to spread the Gospel.  I can advertize events at church for a start.  I am getting out of the habit of prayers lately in the morning.  I must put a notice up to remind me.  Ronnie out again serving the Lord.  We are blest.  Still no letter from Gary.



Had a perm today, have to look respectable.  – Still no letter from Gary.  Joanne and Ronnie not on the best of terms.  I don’t know why but she seems to resent him somehow and he does everything possible to make life happy for her.  Maybe it’s her hormones.  I am still getting hot flushes and they make life very unpleasant at times.  Getting into studying already.  I love the Book of Mormon; it’s so ‘almost familiar.’  

Philip[pians] 4:13.  I can do all things through Christ that strengtheneth me.


SUN 12th Oct

We went to two conferences at Spen Valley and Dewsbury today.  I was very spiritually uplifted especially by President Jokl and Pres. Rock.  President Burnett is a lovely man.  He has a smile that makes you feel happy.  I took a Primary class and did an activity about the iron rod and keeping the commandments.  The children were lovely.  I am glad to be back in Primary.  We had a super lunch put on for us.  I do know some lovely people.  There’s a lot of ‘lovelies’ in this record!!

Betty Leonard gave me a missionary magazine from Toronto [Mission].  It tells me Gary had no baptizms in July, but he did have one in August.

Ronnie rang the mission home on Friday and all is well.  They are going to jog his [Gary’s] memory and tell him he has a Mam & Dad to write to.

On Friday I worked so hard getting the paint off the front of the shop that when I had tea I went for a bath and went to bed.  I rose at 10 o’clock [p.m.] and packed to go to the Temple.  I really dislike the bus that travels overnight, there was no leg room, it was cold and the backs were upright making it impossible to sleep, but I wouldn’t have missed it for all that.  Kenny Leonard & Sandra were married and had their 2 children sealed to them, and Ronnie and I stood proxy for Penny Smith’s Mother & Father.  It was a nice experience.  I felt a lovely relaxing peace as I knelt at the altar.  I hope is was accepted work.


MONDAY 13 Oct 1986

Went to Bradford today to a business seminar.  It was very interesting and gave me confidence that I could run a business.  I am quite excited about my fent shop.  Called at Maurice’s and Linda’s on the way home.  Ronnie called and picked me up and some fencing.  Linda isn’t very well.  My visiting teachers were at home when I got there.  It’s not a good night to visit but we weren’t having FHE so they didn’t interrupt us.  In fact we have got out of the habit of having them and it’s not good.  The Prophet says we should and I do like to follow the Prophet.  Anyway they have been very successful in my life and I think we should still have them.


TUES 14 OCT Andrew would have been 26 years old today.  I wonder what he is doing now.  I don’t often think of him, maybe because I can’t imagine him anymore.

Still no letter from Gary.  He is naughty.  Went round the banks today to borrow some money.  I finished up back at my own bank (Co-op).  They have always been good to us.  I need a £500 overdraft and it looks like I’ll get one. 

I am very tired lately.  Maybe it’s all too much for me.  I’m not worried about the shop though.  I feel confident to cope.  I do worry somewhat about Institute.  The lesson tonight went better than last week, but I’m not expert by any means.


WED 15 Oct

At last, a letter from Gary!  Mind you, he does want a new suit.  I don’t know how he’s managed to wear out 2 suits in 10 months.  He’s still enthusiastic about the work he is doing.  

Did some work up at the shop today.  There’s no electricity on yet ???  Must ring that man.

Ronnie finished the “letter” to Carol’s brother – the Christadelphian – it’s almost another book.  I hope now we can get on with the house a bit, especially the bathroom.


THURS 16 Oct

Did some work on the shop.  Came home with a migraine.  Joanne and Ronnie are so good when I am not well.  I really appreciate my family.  Ronnie brought papers home to help us find wholesalers, also a promise of a thousand buttons – free.  We certainly are blessed.

Ronnie had some more meetings tonight, then he had to work on his fireside for Sat.  I am amazed at the stamina and talent of my husband.  I really admire him and love him very much.  He never grumbles when I am ill, just fries a couple of eggs, and is happy with his lot.


FRI 17 Oct

Very busy day: painted, papered, emulsioned, and varnished at the shop.  It is coming along nicely.  I am waiting for some electric putting on, also a sink putting in.  

Ronnie out again tonight.  I don’t begrudge the Lord his time, but I do get a bit lonely sometimes.  When the conferences are over, we will be together more.

The moon looks funny tonight; it’s some kind of eclipse.


FRIDAY 31ST Oct The last 2 weeks have been hectic and very hard work.  I came home at 10-30 tonight after being at the shop all day papering ready for the opening tomorrow.  (I made a sale of £2 for a fent today).  (My first sale).

Ronnie (bless him) has gone back up to the shop with some carpet to lay for me.  He is just about the best husband a woman could wish for.  He really looks after me and takes the pressure off when I am flagging – I don’t know where he gets his energy from.

My washer broke, so I bought an ‘Automatic.’  Phew, I really am getting blessed.  It certainly makes life easier.  I worry that I will be able to afford the electric bills.


SUN 2ND NOV We opened the shop yesterday.  On Friday, there was an advert in the paper costing £39.  I was disappointed.  We only had 4 customers.  2 bought something and two asked if I was getting some more material.  I felt I was stocked enough.

This morning, I read my Relief Society lesson on ‘Peace’ if you live righteously.  I will endeavour to live righteously and gain this peace, and not worry about the worldly things.

Ronnie has been a tower of strength to me; he is so calm and encouraging.  I will make duvet covers as soon as possible and see if I can get a sale for them.

Gary hasn’t written for 2 weeks again.  I do wish he would, even if it is only 1 sheet.

Peter is here with us this weekend.  He is a bit shy and quiet, but getting more used to us.  He seems to like going to Church, which is good.

We have called the shop THE FENT SHOP.

It was a good day at Church.  I really enjoyed it.  I felt moved to bear my testimony and said how I was worried about the business last night, but on rising and reading my Relief Society manual and some scriptures, I realised that nothing is so terribly important as living the Gospel and being at peace with God.  I love this Gospel.

Ronnie bore his testimony and told them how I had forgotten to tell them what a good husband I had (which I had).  He also said what a wonderful wife he had, which made me feel good.  He has a lovely testimony and loves the Gospel as I do which makes me confident in our relationship, which is getting better all the time.  I find our love for each other is getting more peaceful and deeper.

Ronnie went off to Bradford to ordain Ceriphas Martin an Elder.  He brought back much love for me from the saints there.  It’s nice to know I’m not forgotten.


MON 3RD NOV Didn’t get to the shop until 10-30 but nobody was waiting.  Had a few more customers today and took nearly £14.

Ronnie brought the missionaries home for tea, it was nice to have them in our home.  I thought a lot about Gary whenever I looked at them.

Ronnie is helping Joanne with her homework; he is very good to her.


FRI 7TH NOV The shop isn’t doing very well, I am only taking £3 - £4 a day.  It is worrying.  I can’t get any more stock unless I sell some of what I have.  I haven’t written to Gary this week.  I think that because I don’t get letters from him that he seems to be a little unreal.  I guess we get a bit like that praying, if we don’t listen and understand answers to our prayers we feel Heavenly Father is unreal and we cease to talk to him.

A young man came to our home on Wednesday [5th].  Ronnie spoke with him for about four hours.  He said he is a nice young man but he is trying to get a testimony intellectually.  I pray he might feel the Spirit and understand.

Joanne is looking tired.  She works so hard with her schoolwork and her Seminary – she keeps it up to date and seems to understand it better this year.  She is getting very beautiful.

On Wednesday, I felt inspired to look into the sales in the paper and saw a mobile gas fire for sale.  We went and bought it for £35.  It cost £86 a year ago, so I guess the Lord has his eye on me (again).

The best takings so far today £22.  A Pakistani lady bought some material and promised to come back for more.  She said she would spread the word about my shop, which is good.  I feel so much better.

Went to see the ‘Mikado’ at church.  It was a super show.  We took Peggy [Rastrick] with us.  Ken & Carolyn brought Rachel for Joanne to mind.  She was awfully sick whilst we were out


SAT I have been sat here from 9 o’clock this morning; well, since I cleaned the window, hoovered the carpet, swept out front, and dusted.  Ronnie came across and painted a sign for me for the end of the building.  Not one customer today – I am really disappointed, after yesterday especially.  We are going to deliver leaflets next week in the area, advertising the shop. 

Maurice & Linda are coming this evening for supper.


MON 10TH NOV Went to Wakefield for their Ward Conference.  It was a nice meeting.  We remembered those who had died in the wars, that we could be free and we remembered our Saviour and his suffering and death to free us from spiritual bondage.  We went to see Ruth Jackson and her new 11½ lb. Baby, Daniel.  That’s five boys and the eldest is only 9.  Phew, what a girl, and what a lovely husband she has – Ian.  

When we got home, Joanne had taken a young girl home for dinner to friendship her, Tracy Dick – I am pleased with her for caring and I’m sure Heavenly Father must be.  I hope she never changes, and always cares about people.  Bishop [Rodney] Crossley and Pat came over for a chat later on.  It was nice to see them.


WED 12 NOV Went to Bradford to buy some material from ‘BILLS’ to make duvet covers.  All I need now is a machine.  Gave a lesson at Primary Board meeting.  I was pleased with my efforts – I lose confidence in myself sometimes.  Got a clean bill of health from the hospital today, for which I am grateful.


THURS 13 NOV Today I felt low when I got up and it didn’t help matters when I got to work and found I had left my keys in the front door at home.  So, off home I went only to be flagged down by a lorry driver in Bradford Rd to say I had lost my handbag out of my shoulder bag.  I went back and found that all the contents had been lost out somewhere.  I drove back to the shop and a police car pulled in, he had my purse and diary which was something, my cheque card was in my purse but I had lost 2 cheque books and my Halifax paying in book.  Good job I drew most of it out yesterday.

Got a lovely letter from Gary so at least one good thing today, besides knowing I have a lovely husband who is a tower of strength to me – I do love him very much.


MON 17TH NOV. It was the last of the Ward Conferences yesterday and we went to Halifax.  I had to take a department on my own and I made a bad job of it.  Later I was thinking – before I went I didn’t pray, I didn’t ask for guidance and help from the Spirit.  Is it any wonder I failed?  I learnt a lesson – if you don’t have the Spirit don’t teach – and make sure you have the Spirit.

Last week was a better week at the shop.  I took 50% more than the week before.  Let’s hope it keeps improving.


SAT 22 NOV Joanne Lent me £150 and with a £100 cash from the shop we went to Manchester on Wednesday and bought some nice materials – the shop looks quite full now and more interesting for people to browse – all I need now are the people.  Yesterday was fairly busy – today has been quiet so far.  

Ruth & Ian Jackson’s baby (Daniel) has meningitis; he is only a couple of weeks old.  I fasted yesterday and I am fasting today.  When they took him to hospital they took him to the wrong one but Kenneth Leonard was there so he and Ian gave the baby a blessing before he was transferred to B.R.I.  Maybe the Lord wanted him at St Luke’s so as he could be blessed quickly – the Lord works in mysterious ways.  


Ronnie is still working hard to help me get my shop going, and Joanne is bright and cheerful and very helpful at doing without, like cancelling the milk and using powdered when I know very well she doesn’t like it.  She has a lot of good in her.  


MON DEC 1st A very good weekend at church.  Elder [Hans] Ringger came.  He is on the Quorum of Seventy.  He is Swiss and spoke fairly good English.  Very lovely man and pleasant to listen to.  He told us to stand up always for the right because so many people don’t know their left from their right, and if we don’t speak up they will believe [that] we think as they do.  Someone slipped me £15 in a Christmas card.  I don’t know who it is but I hope the lord blesses them.

Pamela rang last week.  She has cancer of the cervix.  The doctors say it is operable.  She is going to have a blessing.  I pray she will be alright and able to bring her children up.  Poor Ian & Ruth, they are in a state of shock.  Little Daniel is recovering but the doctors have warned that he will probably have brain damage.  I keep praying the Lord will give them the strength they need to cope.  Now is the time to trust in the Lord and lean not unto thine own understanding.  The Word of Wisdom promises should now come into force.  It’s easy enough to say we believe until the test comes.  Oh! Ruthy have faith.



( S P E C I A L )



Saturday 13th I went down to the Temple with Lilian & Brian Turner and Violet [Chattaway].  It was a wonderful experience – I was allowed to go upstairs and sit at the back with Lilian and Violet, and between Lilian & I we told Violet what was happening so she could take out her own endowments.  It was a very special experience, and one which I will be forever grateful for.  After the endowment part was over we went into a small sealing room at the back and went over the lecture to make sure Violet had understood what she had done – she was so delighted.  I am going to write to her and tell her how much I appreciated the opportunity of helping her take out her endowments.  


Ronnie looked after the shop for me, he had quite a good day, and he moved everything around, most of it I liked.  He has more idea than I have of setting things out – he is a very good man – I count my blessings.


On Friday night there was a concert at Hudds.  It was Carols from around the world.  Ronnie did a cowboy carol.  I felt very proud of him – they sang the Hallelujah Chorus and it was a really lovely evening.  Maurice & Linda were going to come but Maurice had to work.  I had been visiting teaching on Wed and they, that is 4 people, promised to come but they didn’t.  (People don’t know what they are missing).


Last night was a missionary fireside.  The missionaries spoke & sang, the talent was very good, the evening was very moving.  They had pictures of Jesus on a screen as the songs were sung – very effective.


Ronnie spoke at Spen Valley on Obedience.  A very good talk.  We then called for Vera Peacock, an old lady who is inactive.  We took her home for tea then on to the fireside.  She enjoyed seeing her old friends again.

Joanne went home with the bishop – I feel she is a bit lonely at home.  We might take a lodger – or something.


THURS 18 DEC 1986

Last night Ronnie and I went to a High Council Christmas party – it was so good being there.  I felt privileged to be in the company of such good men who try to live the gospel and serve the lord and also their wives who love and encourage them.  What a difference to the worldy men – what a different atmosphere and how happy.

Last Sat we were at Halifax at the Elders Quorum Christmas Party – we certainly get some blessings. 

Although we have no money for cards or goodies for Christmas or even to buy each other a present, it doesn’t seem to matter.  I feel content and have a good feeling inside just because it’s Christmas  and for what it really means.